If you grew up in a Filipino family setting, it is not common for us to move out of our family home at 18 or even during college. This is especially true if our family is already based in the city center.
For me, that was the case. My house was just 15 minutes away from my university by car. This was way before 2009. On a good day, I could even get there in seven minutes because my car back then was a Kia Picanto. It was tiny enough for me to squeeze into gaps and overtake other cars lol. Parking at my university was a struggle, but I was lucky. Our family business was right next to campus, so I always had a parking space. That was never an issue for me.
But even then, I often wondered what if I had the chance to move out and live independently. Some of my classmates rented dorms because their homes were an hour away from the city. For them, dorm life meant experiencing independence, cooking their own meals, and figuring out how to balance going out and studying. But I never got to experience that. I always went home, just 15 minutes away.
One downside of our family business being so close was that they always knew when I got home. I know I was being a little rebellious. There was a time when I would tell my parents my classes ended at 9 PM just so I could go out on dates. Yes, I had boyfriends back then, but that is a different conversation lol. My parents were strict and did not like me going out, but this girl was a little naughty and still went anyway.
Fast forward to now, and I’m living 8,000+ miles away from my parents (shoutout to Google for telling me that’s the distance from Toronto to Davao City)
And I can confidently say this was the best decision I have ever made. Not because I am obsessed with Canada, but because I had been dreaming of living away from my parents for a long time. It finally happened after my 30th birthday, and honestly, it was long overdue.
And it was worth it. Not just because I wanted it, but because my relationship with my parents has improved. I have experienced this before, back when I studied fashion design in Metro Manila. That time, I noticed my mom was way calmer when talking to me, and it is the same now that I am in Canada. Let us just say my mom is my kryptonite. I love her, and I will forever be grateful for everything she has done. She literally carried our family and made everything possible. But she is a perfectionist, and we could never be in the same room for too long without fighting. I do not blame her. She had to be strong to keep our family business running.
But I am not like her. I am more like my dad, empathetic and understanding of people’s struggles. Anyway, that is another story. After countless attempts, I finally achieved my goal of living alone. Let me tell you, there are pros and cons. Some might say this stage is just a normal part of life, something you should go through in your late twenties. But for me, as someone whose parents were overly protective, studying in another country felt like my chance to finally prove something to myself.
And let me tell you, it was never easy. Sad to say.
But I have no regrets. Moving here opened me up to so many new experiences. I met people and did things I never thought I would. These were things I never would have done if I had stayed in my home country under my parents’ protective bubble. Living here was not just a lifestyle change. It was a complete shift. I could not just do whatever I wanted. I needed money, and I refused to ask my family for it because I wanted to prove I made the right decision.
But despite all the struggles, even though I am still figuring things out and I am not completely stable yet, I have never felt this free, this at peace, and this relaxed. For the first time in my thirty years of existence. People back home tell me I could have lived a more comfortable life if I had stayed. I could have had everything I wanted. I could have secured all the sponsorships and collaborations. I was already connected with major agencies that could offer me projects with well-known brands. This was me before I left my home country. But deep down, I know I am meant for something bigger. I know I can make it.
Maybe I sound delusional right now, but I genuinely feel it in my bones. And if you made it this far, if you actually read all my nonsense rambling, you are the OG. A huge thank you to you. Without you, I would not have the courage to chase this nonsense dream of mine. Till next time for another heart-to-heart talk. I will definitely be dropping by here more often because social media feels too saturated these days anyway.
No Comments